Learning to Hold space
When I began this blog series, Making Space, I introduced three pillars:
- Creating Space
- Holding Space
- Occupying Space
Today, I want to take a thoughtful pivot from Creating Space and dive into Holding Space—especially around something that’s been on my heart: the idea of bringing your best.
For years, I gave my all at work….every ounce. By the time I got home, I was drained. Dinner, homework, bath time… all done in a fog. I’d fall asleep mid-story with the kids, having nothing left for the people who mattered most- and even less for myself.
That way of living wasn’t sustainable. And the hard truth? It was up to me to change it.
Reclaiming Alignment Through Intentional Living- Vision Setting
So, what did I do?
I started by stepping away from the grind and looking at my life through a wide-angle lens. While on a beach getaway—walking, journaling, having meaningful conversations with Blane and the kids—we asked the big questions: What kind of life do we want?
What really matters?
Those conversations shaped my long-range plan—yearly, 3-year, and 5-year goals. Yes, I’m that generation: I wrote it all down in a beautiful Erin Condren notebook and on my iPad. (Duality at its finest.) From that vision, I broke it down: annual, quarterly, monthly goals—just like I would in business. It was grounding. Therapeutic, even.
I looked at all aspects of life: personal health, aging, financial goals, marriage, parenting, hobbies, and of course- the business.
The Wake-Up Call in My Calendar- Time Management
Then came the scary part: the calendar.
I analyzed where my time was actually going—and realized I was overcommitted to things that didn’t align with my vision. By saying yes to everything, I was unintentionally saying no to the things that mattered most.
Around that same time, I read Uptime by Laura Mae Martin—a fantastic book that helped me rethink how to structure my calendar around performance, not just availability.
I learned when my brain works best for creative work, strategy, collaboration, mentoring- and I began scheduling accordingly. I emailed the company letting them know I’d be canceling and rebooking meetings so I could show up fully present.
I prioritized me on my calendar first. My workouts. My deep-thought blocks. My email catch-up. I color-coded it all so both I and my team could clearly see my non-negotiables.
Surprisingly, the world didn’t stop spinning on its axis. And my focus, and impact, actually improved.
Redefining Self-Care as Strategic Investment
Let’s talk about self-care.
It’s a term that’s been overused and oversimplified, but let’s be clear: this isn’t fluff. This is survival.
Professional athletes have off-seasons to recover, train, and improve. Yet we, as corporate athletes, think we can operate at peak performance all day, every day—with no off-season, no recovery. And that’s before we’re parents, friends, partners.
For me, the wake-up call came during the pandemic when I pushed my health to the brink. Is literally borderline with Hashimoto’s. Something had to change.
How I Built a Life That Supports Peak Performance
Here’s what I shifted:
- Nutrition: I cut gluten and dairy. I reduced alcohol.
- Sleep: Bedtime is now a ritual, not an afterthought. Skin care, dimmed lights, gratitude prayers, a few pages of a book, peace.
- Mornings: No phone, email, or social media first thing. Just movement and quiet for at least 30 minutes.
- Exercise: 30 minutes every morning. Some days inside, others outdoors.
- Food: High-protein breakfasts. Packed snacks. Smart prep.
- Time-saving hacks: Hired help for errands. AI for meal planning. Stopped the daily coffee line and made it at home. (huge time saver)
- Beauty minimalism: Hair back most days. Gained 20 extra minutes for working out.
These aren’t glamorous changes—they’re practical ones. And they’ve changed everything. The trick was looking at my vision and goals and then looked at where I was spending time that I could cut out to make space for the things that mattered.
The Result? I Show Up Better—Everywhere.
By choosing me, I reclaimed my energy and clarity.
I’m sharper in meetings. More present at home. Less exhausted and more joyful. I’m able to bring creativity, strategy, and compassion into the spaces I occupy—whether it’s a boardroom or my living room.
The Bigger Lesson in Holding Space
We can’t bring our best if we’re running on empty. The faster we learn how to:
- Set intentional goals across all areas of life
- Align our time with those priorities
- Build in recovery and reflection
…the better we show up. For work. For family. For ourselves.
This is Holding Space. It’s about protecting the energy we need to bring our best. And that’s where the power of space—both literal and emotional—begins.
